Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
