remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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