office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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