evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
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Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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