apparently the secret to your success is patron
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
