The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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