Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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