here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
