She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
