you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
