I can't watch pbs sober anymore
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
