if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
