this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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