Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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