You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
