Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
