When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
