NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
