I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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