In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
