***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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