this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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