i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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