I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
