She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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