I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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