dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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