Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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