im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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