We're like a lot better than the average bears
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
