you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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