He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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