either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
