i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
