do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize