Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
