Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize