i barfeds in our rink
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
