does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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