Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
