i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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