After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
