so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
