; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Boobs speak an international language.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
