im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize