Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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