I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
