genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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