Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
