dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
