I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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