she smelled like a LAN party
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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