i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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