there's paper in my vomit.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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