k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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