you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize