i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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