Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I understand Curling. That high.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?