Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
