Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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