i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
