CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
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The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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