My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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